Are we that different?

I’m usually better about not getting sucked into social media and the news. Lately, however, I find myself mindlessly scrolling my phone too much. Not only that, I’m pissed off while I’m doing it. How can so many people I know and love feel so wildly different on hugely important topics? I find myself angry with friends (or even just acquaintances) that I haven’t talked to in months, or hell, years. How dare they repost such a thing?! 

I’m beginning to wonder, though, if perhaps our social media algorithms are showing us completely different realities. Perhaps we have much more in common than we realize. Perhaps the ultra rich companies want us to think we’re enemies because fear and division sells much better than unity. It’s in our human nature, after all, to respond more viscerally to fear and anger than any other emotion.

I have friends and neighbors whom I know fall on the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to politics. On the internet, we’d be stone-cold enemies. But when I talk to these people in person, they are trying to make ends meet just like I am. We talk about how expensive life is, how hard it is to raise children, and how we’d do literally anything to protect our babies. We talk about our spouses and how we love them, but they get on our damn nerves. We share movies, shows, books, podcasts, and restaurants we love. 

Of course we have different beliefs in a lot of areas, but at the end of the day, I think we want a lot of the same things: To be able to afford life, to keep our families safe, to love and be loved. As someone you might have been convinced is a “left-wing extremist,” I’m going to share a few things that I want in the country I was born and raised in (and love dearly) and you tell me... Are we that different?

I Want a Healthy Work-Life Balance

Both my husband and I were fortunate enough to live with our parents and save up money before we married. Because of this, I am able to stay at home with our children while he works full-time as an ICU nurse. 

We are both pretty great about not spending above our means. Sure, we eat out on occasion. Not too often, though, because 3 meals (one of them being a kids’ meal) from a restaurant costs at least $30 these days. We are also extremely fortunate not to have any student debt, both of our cars are paid off, and we have been lucky to have great support from our families.

Even with this privileged starting point, our savings is beginning to dwindle. Mortgage, bills, groceries, health insurance, car problems, teeth problems (I’m an unlucky soul when it comes to dental health), dog food, lawn care, and other random necessities add up… quickly.

If we had student debt or car payments, I would absolutely not be able to stay at home with my babies. We would have to put the kids in daycare so I could work. And my working would literally just go towards affording day care (the cost of daycare is a whole other story).

All that being said, I want my family to be able to have a solid work-life balance. My husband works at an extremely stressful and difficult job 40 hours a week and I feel that we should be able to make ends meet, comfortably. By comfortably, I mean I simply don’t want to stress about money all the time. Call me crazy, but this doesn’t feel like an outrageous demand. 

I Want Affordable and Easily Accessible Healthcare

Why is healthcare so expensive and so dang complicated?! And why is dental insurance separate from regular health insurance when you can quite literally die from tooth infections? All insurances combined, our health insurance is about $500 a month for a family of 4. That’s $6000 a year (not including copays and prescriptions). That’s pricey, folks. 

A personal and frustrating experience I had with dental insurance was a few months ago. I needed a root canal re-treatment (basically a root canal on a tooth I’ve already had a root canal on – what?). The dentist office gave me an “estimate” on how much it would cost – less than $250. This wasn’t my first root canal and I thought, okay that’s actually not bad for a root canal. This was not an elective procedure, either. I don’t go around getting root canals for funsies. It was either this or extraction – on a very visible tooth.

They performed the procedure and a few weeks went by before I started getting bills. And more bills. I called them and said what the heck? What are all these charges? It turns out, the insurance company just decided they didn’t want to pay as much as they said. This was in the fine print of the estimate. In the end, I paid nearly $1,000 for work on a singular tooth. I was pissed. Now that I’m writing about it, I’m still pissed.

I do not believe we should have to pay an arm and a leg or go into debt to pay for healthcare costs. 

Another aspect of healthcare I feel passionately about – women’s reproductive rights. As a woman of child-bearing age (although I think I’m done after my last pregnancy :P), I want to know that if I become pregnant again, my doctor will not hesitate to provide me with necessary health care because of my state’s laws.

Pregnancy is complicated and dangerous. Too many women are dying or having to travel across state lines to obtain healthcare since Roe v. Wade was overturned. Our access to health care should not be determined by where we live. A lot of my friends are in Texas, a state with some of the strictest abortion laws. I imagine they would feel a little uneasy about becoming pregnant at this time.

I Do NOT Want ICE in my Streets

"Mother of Exiles", see The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus

Immigrants are what built this country and our diversity is what makes us great. I have never felt affected by nor have I felt unsafe around an immigrant. I don’t know many people who have, and again, I’m originally from Texas. Of course common sense immigration policies are necessary, but masked agents going to immigration hearings or schools and taking people from their families is, in no way, acceptable or humane. 

To refer to immigrants, whether documented or undocumented, as “illegals” is absolutely dehumanizing. Humans are not "illegal." Whether it was our parents, our grandparents, or their parents before them, we migrated to this wondrous country from somewhere else. 

I firmly believe in the good in people and that they are doing what they view is best for their family. Throughout history, though, those wearing masks to hide their identity while they hurt others have been wrong. 

I Want Freedom of (and from) Religion

Our home is filled with so much love, but we are not religious. Spiritual, yes. Religious, no. I most definitely believe there is a higher power (or consciousness) and that we are all connected, but we neither attend church nor teach our children there is only one right way of living.  

My son attends public school. I want him to learn about English, math, science, and history. I want him to learn how to play well with others and be kind. I want him to respect his teachers and friends and run around during recess. I do not want him learning about religion. If he decides to pursue religious studies later in life, go for it. I’ll support him no matter what. But in first grade at a public school, no thank you.

As of September 2025, three states—Louisiana, Arkansas, and Texas—have enacted laws requiring the Ten Commandments to be displayed in public school classrooms. The law on the separation of church and state in the U.S. is rooted in the First Amendment. Just as I feel it is inappropriate to teach my child about Islam, Hinduism, or Buddhism in his public school, I feel it is inappropriate to teach him about Christianity. 

I Want Policies that Work for the Majority, not just the Super Rich

Taxes are deducted from every single one of my husband’s paychecks. We don’t have a say in how much they take. Trillion dollar companies, like Amazon, on the other hand, are able to find ways to lower their tax rates. They have time and people to figure this out for them because the company is worth over a trillion dollars – WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F*CK EVEN IS A TRILLION DOLLARS? These lower rates are legally achieved through tax deductions, credits, and other loopholes available in the tax code. I don’t know what to say other than… Rude? 

One in five children in the USA did not have consistent access to enough food for a healthy life in 2023, public schools are vastly underfunded, programs that help the many (SNAP, Medicaid) are being cut, farmers are declaring bankruptcy… Regular people are struggling. And people like Jeff Bezos (the founder of Amazon) are having literally $50 million weddings. This just doesn’t seem right to me – does it to you? 

I Want Common Sense Gun Policies

Just the title of this section might piss you off if you’re a staunch Republican. But please, keep reading.

I want universal background checks (supported by 86% of Americans) and I want to close any loopholes that allow gun purchases from private sellers without a background check. I would love to see funding for evidence-based community anti-violence programs which have been shown to reduce gun violence.

What I would really love is a federal ban on the purchase of high-capacity magazines and military-style assault weapons (the ban from 1994-2004 proved highly effective at reducing the number of mass shooting deaths), but I know that at this time, that is controversial and unlikely. 

I should not have to feel scared of anyone I love being another mass shooting statistic in one of the greatest countries in the world. I believe we can do better. I imagine you believe that, too.

Conclusion

Obviously, these aren't all the hot topics that seem to divide us. But still … Do you think we are mortal enemies as social media would have us believe? I dare to believe we’re not. I dare to believe we have so much more in common than we realize. We love our children and family unconditionally, we smile at strangers when they walk by, and we want our country to be at peace. 

I want these things for myself, my children, and for all others who are lucky enough to call this beautiful, diverse country home. And this incredible place is most definitely big enough for all of us. 

I vote we stop interpreting too much from social media and actually start talking to one another. What do you think?

With love,

Julie